im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
