If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
