is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
