Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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