Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
