so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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