so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
