I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
