You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
