dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
