The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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