i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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