Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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