It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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