is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
