he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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