Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
