you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize