She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
what is it with giant penises always finding me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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