I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
