just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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