A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
