Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
