OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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