so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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