my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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