remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
