I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
