Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
ttyl tear gas
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
