i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
