so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
