Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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