yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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