Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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