Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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