Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize