If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
