New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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