I don't think brook has ever known best
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize