he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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