I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
