CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
