dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have fence marks all over my body
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
