I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
