Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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