Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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