so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
