U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
