I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
