my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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