It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
True but thats because hes a fetus.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
