Jerry, you need to find god
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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