i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
