But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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