I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
