Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
