Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
