WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Randomize
