one two three fourrrrnication!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize