i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
